Republicans vow to capture the youth vote ... if they can just get past that whole gay thing

There's a lot to laugh at in the Republican Party autopsy on why they lost in 2012 and what they need to do going forward, but this little nugget was particularly funny: the realization that death will continue to take their aging, bigoted base and that they need to appeal to young people ... who overwhelmingly support marriage equality:

For the GOP to appeal to younger voters, we do not have to agree on every issue, but we do needto make sure young people do not see the Party as totally intolerant of alternative points of view. Already, there is a generational difference within the conservative movement about issues involving the treatment and the rights of gays — and for many younger voters, these issues are a gatewayinto whether the Party is a place they want to be. [...]

On messaging, we must change our tone — especially on certain social issues that are turning off young voters. In every session with young voters, social issues were at the forefront of thediscussion; many see them as the civil rights issues of our time. We must be a party that is welcoming and inclusive for all voters

And does this mean the Republican Party will finally embrace the "civil rights issues of our time"? Hell, no! They conclude that:

The Party should be proud of its conservative principles, but just because someone disagrees with us on 20 percent of the issues, that does not mean we cannot come together on the rest of the issues where we do agree.

So instead they'll do things like "host quarterly discussions on youth issues with Chairman Priebus, a leading GOP youth surrogate or elected official and young voters" and "establish an RNC Celebrity Task Force of personalities" (see: Rock, Kid) and will "participate in and actively prepare for interviews with The Daily Show, The Colbert Report, MTV and magazines such as People, UsWeekly, etc., as well as radio stations that are popular with the youth demographic."

... where they will continue to peddle their message of hate and intolerance on the civil rights issue of our time. Good luck with that, boys.

11:16 AM PT: Ahem: